In a world overflowing with advice on communication, there's a simple yet powerful mantra that has the potential to transform our interpersonal interactions and our path to success: Speak less, listen more. This axiom underlines the power of active listening, an often underrated skill vital for everyone and, in particular, crucial for effective leadership.
Listening is a complex art. We all underestimate what it takes to truly listen and how valuable the act of listening can be to those who feel heard. Fundamentally, it's about being present and fully engaged in the conversation, absorbing more than just the words spoken. Active listening involves interpreting tone, observing body language, and deciphering unspoken messages. It's a practice that unfolds on three key levels, each important in its own way.
The first level, internal listening, is when an individual focuses on their own thoughts and feelings in response to what's being said. While this level of listening is instinctive, the risk is that too much focus on personal perspectives might overlook the speaker's intended message. This is where most of us spend our time in conversations. Thinking about what we are going to say next, planning our next comment, or thinking about some random task we need to complete as soon as this conversation ends. Yes, I know, we all do it.
The second level, focused listening, goes beyond personal perspectives to pay close attention to the speaker's words. Here, we begin to understand others' viewpoints, but our understanding may remain superficial if we don't delve beyond words to their intended meanings. Side note...are video calls your primary channel for communicating? If so, watch out. Be careful of trying to interpret body language and other signals the same as you would if you were in person. Perhaps worth a post all on its own, but listening over video calls is a slightly different art form, so caution should be applied.
The third and highest level, global or empathetic listening, is about understanding the speaker's emotions and motivations. It involves 'feeling with' the speaker, which can create strong connections and a supportive atmosphere. Imagine standing next to them, and seeing the world as they do in that moment, that is what it feels like to listen at this level.
For everyone, the practice of active listening enhances our ability to connect with others and enriches our personal and professional relationships. We become more adept at understanding different perspectives, spotting underlying issues, and formulating innovative solutions. Every moment with another human is a chance to connect or disconnect, and whether conscious or unconscious that is a choice you are making. Be intentional.
For leaders, these skills take on added importance. As leaders gravitate towards higher levels of listening, they become more proficient at discerning the subtleties of team dynamics. Active listening in leadership fosters trust, nurtures loyalty, and unlocks growth.
Maintaining curiosity and humility significantly enhances the practice of active listening. Curiosity prompts us to ask open-ended questions, foster dialogue, and delve deeper. It compels us to learn from those around us and value their insights. Likewise, humility reminds us that we don't possess all the answers, creating room for others to contribute and for personal growth. Humble curiosity, this is the way.
By consciously opting to 'speak less, listen more,' we pledge to be present in our discussions, curious about others' experiences, and humble in our interactions. It's a commitment that can engender stronger relationships, clearer communication, and richer personal growth. For leaders, it's a game-changing pledge that can foster a more inclusive, engaging, and innovative leadership style.
As you navigate your journey, whether in leadership or life, bear in mind that sometimes, the most profound statement you can make is total silence. Listen more, and let the voices of others lead. It's hard. Do it anyway, it's worth it.
Resources
If you're interested in further reading, here are some resources for learning more about active listening:
1. "The Lost Art of Listening" by Michael P. Nichols
2. "Active Listening: Improve Your Ability to Listen and Lead" by Center for Creative Leadership
3. "The Power of Listening" by Bernard T. Ferrari